7 Years Later…

I’m back to this blog 7 years later and how wonderful to be reminded of the poem written for Aaron. I still miss him – it’s been 11 years.

Last year, I started to feel so much anxiety and fighting so many negative thoughts. I reached out to a coworker who is now become one of my best friends. I knew from the our mentorship experience and time working together that she would understand and help as much as she could. Turns out we share the same types of anxiety and depression – not about the same things of course. We all have our inner demons. Our friendship and connection really begin shortly after, and I’m truly grateful.

There are times when I’d get in these super weird funks where I randomly start crying before I fall asleep and a bit after I wake up before getting out of bed. I’m not exactly sure why this happens.

Sometimes, I think I have a odd sense of connection with loved ones, and I can feel what they’re feeling. The weird funk happened yesterday, and I found out that Vince was feeling super down too. Perhaps I was feeling what he was the night before and that’s why I had the random cries. I don’t know, I’m still trying to test that theory out and wonder why I get randomly super depressed.

Maybe it’s also me trying to figure out life and what my purpose is still. Is that a forever thing that I’ll be constantly trying to figure out? 🤷🏻‍♀️

This last year, I tried to work on being more open about my feelings. I feel a lot more comfortable talking about them, more with certain people of course. This year, my personal goal is learning how to be by myself and finding things to keep me occupied when I’m alone.

I’m not always alone, I still have my cute puppy around to keep me company. With that, I’ll leave this photo.

I Remember…

Soo tomorrow marks the 4-year anniversary of my really good friend’s death. Lovely right? Hah! I wrote a poem 4 years ago, when it all happened – here it goes.

I remember when we first met.
We went bowling that night.
The second time we met,
Was the first day of our friendship.

I remember when we used to ride your 4-wheeler,
That was so much fun and scary all at the same time.
We would ride in your street and occasionally in the woods.

I remember when we would watch movies,
And somehow got distracted by other things,
And ended up not finishing the movies

I remember going to Kemah with you –
You were so amazed about all the fish flopping in theh water by the restaurant,
And then out of the blue, we saw a ship sinking.

I remember when we actually finished a movie,
One you didn’t like so much, but still got excited about it.
Whatever, you know you love High School Musical deep down.
You know you also loved Meredith and Alicia,
Learning the moves to the songs afterwards.
They sure do have some amazing dance skills, huh?

I remember when we had crazy dress up day for church.
I loved how you somehow managed to match except for your shoes,
So Alicia had to give you goofy hats and her 5th grade shirt to wear.

I remember when we would drive around,
Until we figured out where to go.
Those were our late night adventures.

I remember one evening we decided to go forth with our plan –
Our plan to decorate Lindsey’s room
We called her up when we were done and when her mirror fell off the wall and broke.
We told her to come; she came and was surprised.

I remember attempting to start a band with you, Lindsey, and Wey.
We all know how that turned out; it was still fun nonetheless.
None of us knew a song that we all knew how to play or sing.

I remember truck piling night with you and the rest of the Bible study crew.
We made gingerbread houses and had a contest between girls and guys.
The girls house was so much better.

Those are just a few of the many memories I have of you.
You were always such a carefree person and knew how to have fun.
I will never forget those days with you.
I will definitely miss you and you will always be in my heart.

Rock On, Rockstar!