So much urgency in the world – seems like there is no time left to catch a breather. Rushing from one side of town to the other to make it to the next thing on the to-do / to-be-at list. So many thoughts running through my mind – thinking of what I could have done better for what just happened, thinking of all my tasks left on my to-do list. Not really focusing on what is happening right now, in the present *BOOM*, there goes my side passenger rear. Always something. Home appliances breaking, car maintenance, doctor appointments, on top of regular bills.

Can’t please people no matter how much time and effort invested into a project. Clients will complain and criticize. Clients are unsure of what they want so they need to find someone to blame and point the finger. Clients won’t give you the time and support that is truly needed to succeed.

My efforts are enough and I’m slowing down. If my efforts are not appreciated, then fine. Boundaries need to be put in place. We all have limited time to live, and I plan on enjoying the rest of mine and what I have left.

It’s interesting and relieving (in a way) to finally understand these feelings, emotions. I reflect and realize that I’ve had this sadness inside of me since I was a kid.

• I remember hearing that I would be okay, having tons of fun and then all of a sudden breaking down.
• I remember hearing how quiet and shy I was, and forced to say hello or have a conversation when I didn’t want to.
• I remember wanting to be alone in my own space.
• I remember forcing myself to be more “outgoing” to try to fit in.
• I remember witnessing others getting frustrated because I would take forever to answer the phone or respond back.

Finding myself, unlearning habits and behaviors is such a life-changing experience. It’s so crazy how brainwashed you get growing up from traditions and external influences. Better late then never to realize what jives and what doesn’t.

It’s been repeated to me multiple times, lately, that I’ve been living outside of my heart. I don’t disagree. I care and worry about others too much. It’s time I care for myself, because it’s clear that the only person who can save me… is me. I put time and effort to pull others out of their darkness, that when it’s my turn… it can’t be reciprocated.

As I’ve said and lived by for awhile now… it’s fine, I’ll just do this all by myself.

Dream Big. Chase your dreams, your passions.

Enough with these mundane 9-to-5 jobs. Or 9-to-5 and then nightly hour jobs. Never-ending work hours. Why live and work for someone else’s dream, when you can live for YOUR DREAM? What sparks your soul and makes you feel alive? The amount of time and energy spent already, could go towards what makes you happy. If you’re at the point of your life where the 9-to-5 job is your only option, then that’s understandable. However, if you have an opportunity to work towards your passion, then go for it!

It’s going to be grueling and time-consuming upfront, but it’ll be totally worth it in the end. Set small goals and work towards them. Eventually the finish line will be here before you know it.

Just believe and don’t stop trying.

I was recently asked to think of a word to live by this upcoming year. Obviously, picking just one word or one anything is a challenge in itself. I went with “patience” initially, then “grace” and “progress” were thrown into the mix.

In a world of instant gratification and constant technology changes, it feels hard to keep up with it all. It’s easy to forget to take a step back and just breathe. Taking thing slowly. Practicing patience, waiting, and letting things happen.

• With things that are controllable, definitely go for it and take charge.
• With things that aren’t, don’t force it – be patient and let things be.

You are your worst enemy. Would you say those hateful, negative words to someone else or to your younger self? Giving yourself some grace for what you’ve accomplished and how far you’ve come goes a long way. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are doing the best that you can and that is enough.

Growing up, aiming for perfection was the main goal and really the only thing acceptable. If it was anything less than perfection, all hell broke loose. Aiming for perfection is unrealistic and adds on unnecessary stress. Perfection is not real – it is masked with lies.

Outlining and small manageable goals / milestones is more realistic. What is the end goal? What are the steps to reach the end goal? Are there different options or approaches if one doesn’t work out? Progression will always feel better than perfection. There will be bumps along the way, account for the road bumps and don’t let them get in the way.

All that matter is that you keep going. Everything amazing is worth working towards and for. You are amazing. Don’t ever give up on yourself. Always find ways to progress and improve.

With that said, Hello 2020… looking forward to collaborating with you.