Nobody’s Perfect

I am no where near perfect. I despise the ones who think they are and there’s no room for improvement. I despise the ones who cannot take constructive criticism or feedback, in the same manner that I should take them without taking them personally. We live in a world of hate and cruelty.

I’ve had to swallow my own pride, and take all of criticism and negative feedback all of my life. I rarely received praise or positive reinforcements – nothing ever felt enough. As much as I tried, no matter how hard I worked to show I can, it was never enough for others.

“You’re doing this wrong. You should do it this way…”
“You’re too…”
“You need to stop…”

There isn’t a wrong way to do anything, unless believe you’re perfect. It’s not right to give others constructive criticism, expect them to take it, and not be able to receive it in the same matter. It’s not right to retaliate when others are trying to help you better yourself and grow. It’s not right to push people alway either. I don’t have tone or attitude; I respond to how I’m treated. If I’m treated like shit, then I will treat you like shit. If I’m treated with trust and respect, then I will treat with trust and respect.

I’m not “too” anything. I might care and love too much, but that’s my personality. In a world full of hatred towards one another, we need all the love and care to overpower all the negative society is projecting.

I shouldn’t have to stop showing emotions. If I want to stand up for myself and be upset for not wanting to give out a significant other or family member’s number for work purposes, I have a right to. If I want to stand up for myself and be upset for not receiving the same training as others did or even feel invested in, I have a right to. I shouldn’t need to have a chat about not feeling upset about any of that. My feelings are fucking valid.

I was so sick and tired of having to put my feelings aside to serve your fucking dictatorship. You drive people away. People quit because of you. People hate you. I tried to support you and be there for you, but all you ever did was not have faith in me. All you cared about was and is still yourself. You felt threatened because you couldn’t “manage” me anymore — sounds like you couldn’t control me anymore.

And the fact that you’re still controlling others – and others are letting you – baffles me. I’m also sick of being placed 2nd place or not a priority, when I put others in the same priority. I treat others equally no matter who they are. I care about people the same amount. I don’t have a lot of people in my life, so once you enter into my life and I let you in, you receive oodles or love and care. I rarely make excuses for others; but that’s the total opposite for others. I’m also not apologizing for being an amazing friend that I am.

I’m so happy to be off your fucking leash and I’m living in my own freedom without fearing you retaliating and taking stupid shit to HR anymore. I’m so happy to be able to freely talk shit about you as you did behind my back. It cracked me up how many lies you tell people, saying you leave your office to have conversations with your teammates – such a fucking lie. You always either hid in your office or never came into the office. It cracked me up how you lied to me about having a meeting with Rick the day you were meeting with HR to open an investigation case against me. I figured you out long ago and you couldn’t stand it.

People have asked how I’ve taken your bullshit for so long. I couldn’t see it in the moment, but it’s became so clear to me when I switched management.

I’m not fucking perfect. Neither are you. No one fucking is. Let’s just all try to fucking improve ourselves so we can be better human beings. People’s actions make me so fucking sick and not want me to stay alive anymore. No one has a heart anymore.

People have no compassion. People have no understanding. People will leave you hurt and alone, especially when you have expressed that you are struggling. I am not one of those people – I will walk with you throughout the journey.

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